power differentials play out in the everyday tensions of our world, and they inform what I think and write about, because they're inescapable.
Trump is a symptom of this infection rampaging through our national biology, a boil on the ass of our humanity. He needs to be cauterized.
I became comfortable with deleting "friends" who showed themselves unwilling to self examine, to evaluate their beliefs in the face of contradictory evidence. As my wise friend Deb says, "bless and release."
There is so much that this disproportionately stressful year that has changed, and I'm not sure it will ever go back to the way it was.
It's not just YOU risking illness. It's not JUST your neighbors. You're putting all the healthcare workers in your area at risk.
People like Kushner and Barrett have gotten where they are because the system that's in place rewards their specific mediocrity; white, inherited wealth, actively participating in the oppression of non-white, non-male people trying to rise through the system that was solely designed to crush them
But the discouraging reality of Church and church has spread its roots throughout my foundational understanding of the world. The last four years has been my undoing, an unraveling of my belief in people of faith altogether.
There's this equation in my head that shows gratitude and want cancelling each other out; all I have to do to live a life without want is to be grateful for what I have. But how do I ask for what I need?
The battle against voting rights is another facet of conservatism that I have never understood.
Do you know any employer who hires somebody and lets them do and say whatever they want on company time? This guy is on company time every second of the day. That's his whole job.
Watching the degradation of the fail-safes designed to prevent total collapse of our system of government has destroyed our sense that everything will be okay "no matter what."
We are called to care for each other. That is our purpose as humans; to take care of each other.
Starting Tuesday, I'll be writing a daily arrangement of thoughts. They may come from the day's national events, or from some godforsaken conversation on social media.
America is experiencing a reckoning. The filming of police brutality has exposed truths Black people have known for hundreds of years; our society was built upon maintaining white supremacy. In big ways and small, our behaviors as a culture protect the property,health, wealth, safety and feelings of white people through the process of diminishing and... Continue Reading →
My dad never talked much about his origin family. His mother was, in his words, crazy, and we had little contact with his three brothers. What I knew about my father's family fit into a 2X2 inch cube. We know volumes about my mother's family, the big South Side Chicago Irish clan she spoke of... Continue Reading →
The version of this piece published on Eat, Darling, Eat uses softer, less-critical language about my mother. I understand why they made those choices, but it's important to me as a person that other women who might not have had a great relationship with their mothers know that they're not alone. My mom had good... Continue Reading →
This has been a period of non-linear learning, picking up bits of knowledge like rocks on the sand. They're unrelated except for their origins, washed to my feet on the waves. I have one favorite pair of pants. I wear them every day. I don't care what I eat for lunch, as long as it... Continue Reading →
My daughter was three years old when she got her first wheelchair. To that point, she had used a stroller provided by a wheelchair company, so NOT a regular stroller; it had appropriate therapeutic seating to encourage her ability to sit, and hydraulic wheels to absorb shocks, and a seat back that reclined completely for... Continue Reading →
When I turned 40, I started picking up on the things people in my age-group were saying about the aging process. There was one post, I forget the exact wording, about if you find yourself on the floor, you start looking for all the other things to do while you're down there; clean up furballs,... Continue Reading →
Some girls spend their time dreaming of a big wedding, planning for motherhood, wishing for Prince Charming to sweep into their lives. Other than looking for a prince, or really any boy, to sweep into my life, I didn't dream that way. Professionally, I wanted to be a baseball player or a priest. But I... Continue Reading →
"You'll act as I demand, or no more fast cars and vacations and living in a dimly lit castle for YOU!"
Despite our best intentions and planning ahead, disability affects every trip we take out of the house, even when we go see a show starring a person in a different body. I don't know why I thought, even subconsciously, that it would be any different.
Thanksgiving has been stalking me like a shadow this year, peering out around the corner weeks ago, with its gluten-centric traditional dishes passed down on my family line;
Sometimes, it takes being in those naked spaces where we can't hide anymore to find out what we're made of, who we are, and how we behave . . .
Have you met my husband? He's the tall one with Max Headroom hair and the quiet public demeanor, always Canadian-polite, gentle with animals. If you have had any kind of discussion with him, you know he's a skeptic. Almost a cynic. On most subjects. I could cite examples, but I (cynically) expect some readers would... Continue Reading →
You all know I love hockey. I've started writing for a Seattle('s Gonna Get an NHL Team) fan site. Here's my latest for them. https://jetcityice.com/2019/09/18/ron-francis-cipher/ Oh, yeah, Tim's the editor/main instigator of the project, so I had an in. But I love having the chance to do some sports writing, which I've always wanted to... Continue Reading →
This has always been our reality; now we understand the reasons why, the facts behind the behavior. Now we know what's changeable and what isn't.
If you have ever watched a recent horror film, you are familiar with a common special effect used to signify that a person has been possessed by or has become an evil spirit; the entire eye, including the white part, becomes pitch black. This happened to me this morning, sans evil spirit. I blame my... Continue Reading →
A slender segment of the skinny population expends effort toward stopping fat people--from going to concerts and parties to buying clothes to trying to work out for whatever reason moves them. These hateful skinnies can't stand it, and they can't shut up about it.
I took a class on Whitman, Dickinson, Keats and Longfellow in college. It was team-taught by two department stars, Dr. Kiefer and Rodney Jones, one a natty dresser with a gorgeous head of curly hair, the other an acclaimed poet, a stereotypical professor in appearance, wry sense of humor and laconic delivery. While I vividly... Continue Reading →
I admire my husband's drive. I love how he can go in one direction persistently, and not be pulled off to the things that trace across his intellectual field of vision.
Growing up in suburban Chicago, I didn't listen to country music. It was either my father's symphonic music on WFMT, or my mother's bobby-soxer/50s crooners, or local pop radio on the radio in my room. Occasionally, we'd click past HeeHaw on TV, but we never stayed to watch. I learned early that that wasn't *our*... Continue Reading →
It will come as a surprise only to people who don't know him, but my husband Tim was hired shortly after putting out his resume. He found an employer that matches his conscientious work ethic, substantially increased Tim's annual salary, and is near enough to our home for Tim to ride his bike. Plus, Tim... Continue Reading →
Preparing to go out is a practice of expecting judgement--explicit or implicit--about my person. Once past the initial introduction, I am powerfully charming, capably playful, and intellectually stimulating. But the judgement phase comes first, and withstanding that onslaught while maintaining my natural effervescence is emotionally draining.
I watched awards season this year with mixed feelings. I'm thrilled that "BlackkKlansman" got the attention and awards it so deserved (though I was bummed it didn't get Oscar Best Picture), and happy, also, that a movie about a capable, powerful woman in the shadows of her husband's success (The Wife) got so many eyeballs... Continue Reading →
Twenty years ago yesterday, Tim and I went on a date. We'd gone on dates before, awkward, blushing dates where holding hands is terrifying and you're sure all your friends are watching. In high school, we dated for six months, and went beyond those innocent hand-holding dates, but in the beginning, it was Norman Rockwell,... Continue Reading →
I just finished watching the second season of The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, which I enjoyed very much. It's a pleasing fantasy, entertaining and kicky, a bopping tune with gorgeous sets and costumes in saturated, period-reminiscent colors. It's fun to imagine my mother in those scenes, a woman of the same age as Midge, not yet... Continue Reading →
When Barack (HUSSEIN!) Obama was running for president, a number of naysayers complained that he was part of the Chicago Machine, the enormous gears of power churning within the City of Big Shoulders. I always marveled at that assessment, because from what I could see, Mr. Obama was an outsider to Chicago politics, an unconnected... Continue Reading →
A couple of weeks ago, I got to hang out with a four year old when I went to his house for dinner. I was purportedly there to hang out with his parents, but secretly, my plan was to play with him. I even brought my own toys. And play we did, with his brand-new... Continue Reading →
My affection for Merideth Kaye Clark is well documented; her performance of Joni Mitchell's album "Blue," in its precise instrumentation and note-for-note interpretation that somehow flies on its own wings was an absolute joy to behold. I had the good fortune of interviewing her a couple of years ago, and found her warmth and enthusiasm... Continue Reading →
My acrylic socks make my feet snug and happy inside my Keen sandals. When it rains later today, I'll change into waterproof shoes, but right now I'm enjoying the delicious embrace of webbed shoes. There's a bunch of stuff I have done in Oregon that I would never even have considered while living in the... Continue Reading →
My mom's on my mind today. Probably like a lot of people who've lost their parents. Thanksgiving is especially reminiscent of her because it was often her birthday, which is November 25. The smell of onions and celery and pepper sauteing at 8 a.m. brings to mind my mom, in her floor-length purple "dashiki" robe,... Continue Reading →
I don't generally wear necklaces that rest near my collarbone, but I recently bought one that was so pretty I couldn't resist. It follows the curve of the hollow of my throat, just low enough to keep me from feeling constricted. I've added extenders to it, but I'm still not completely comfortable in it; I'm... Continue Reading →
On the way into the hospital for a routine visit, I saw a perfect depiction of the entirety of life; an older man and woman pushing someone in a wheelchair who appeared to be the woman's mother chatting as they passed a young woman heavily pregnant, waiting for her partner so they could take the... Continue Reading →
"If I thought she'd get the story right, I would have told her everything." I found that line on a piece of paper in a random box I was cleaning out, and I'm not sure if I wrote it or someone else did. It resonates for me now, alongside the phrase "if they'll talk with... Continue Reading →