lessons about how to be an adult filter through you when you're a parent, and you spend a lot of energy hoping that those lessons will stick, that they will carry something forward from those brief moments you have together.
All I Need
After all the sifting and sorting of facts and opinions, I've chosen a conclusion.
How Tender and Precarious
The totality of life experiences threw a rave, and I was invited to watch.
I didn't grow up eating beans. Well, canned green beans were presented on a plate, overcooked and gray. Unseasoned lima beans, pasty in color and consistency, were thrust upon us every couple of weeks. Canned peas, which I could barely tolerate. But not garbanzo beans, or black eyed peas, or black beans, small red kidney... Continue Reading →
We're going to visit one of his favorite places tonight, the sequoia grove Dudley and I found in one of our first exploring adventures here, and miss the jangle of his tags and the swish of his feathered tail up the switchback trail.
Today Is Ours
Turn to each other again and again.
I Love That I Suck
A person who makes a decision to share their imperfections, to open themselves intentionally to the possibility of failure and ridicule is taking a true risk. That takes courage.
What My Daughter Taught Me
These are the ephemera that deserve my attention, not the dust tumbleweeds in the hallway or smudges on the fridge.
With Camellias Blooming
That fire has given me energy to raise my children amid a family of tyrants and sycophants
Empathy and Compassion
Don't you hate it when people judge you without knowing the facts? Don't do that to other people!
How I’ve Missed You
. . . my practice connects me to the visceral nature of playing an instrument, the raw thrumming vibration that courses through your body when you put your hands on the keys.
I remember the year I was old enough to go to Midnight Mass. My uncle was in town for Christmas, and he took me -- just me, no siblings -- to the darkest, most mysterious Mass of the whole year. I was probably 10, the youngest of five, and all of my siblings were now... Continue Reading →
My pajamas smell likemy dresser of old clothes and wood and my parents' house where the dresser stoodgathering t-shirts and jeanssweaty softball uniforms and acrylic sweatersboxes of love notespassed from my boyfriend in high schoolpins from corsages and forgotten petalsa diary from 1982.It gathered dust and supported book stacks,in imperious federal styleuntil it came to... Continue Reading →
https://megcurrell.substack.com/p/closer-look?r=i3lu&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&utm_source= I'm trying a different platform for some variety. Find my latest here.
My Old Friend
By dint of being in the right place at the right time, I have tumbled into the reason for my lifelong love affair with the piano
Pristine and Perfect
I see the approach of time and watch with caution the degradation of my body, but can't help but celebrate my ongoing good health.
Expected Date of Confinement
Being able to plan for a period of illness with a finite timeline and a known positive outcome is like preparing for birth
Relief and Gratitude
. . . my life is ripe and full and luscious . . . Like aging, this opportunity to mature and learn is a gift . . .
Ladies, a Word . . .
It's time for women to call out the shitty back-stabbing behavior of their fellow women, the behind-the-hand whispers, the opaque negotiations that exile the less powerful and truly stand with and for each other.
I sit for a moment in the sun, breathing its warmth into the corners of my lungs. It was a good, hard three hours, and I'm ecstatic, filthy and exhausted. It's planting season, and the next six months hold mysteries I haven't even contemplated. But what will come will be managed.
Having contact with people who will listen without trying to convince me that my experience could not possibly have been as bad as I claim, who then have their own stories that line up in tidy parallels to mine makes me feel like I'm suddenly whole, real, verifiable.
Teaching adults has stirred a part of my music brain that has been silent for a while.
We don't celebrate Valentine's Day much here.
My dog Dudley deserves a day of recognition. For his loyalty, sweetness, constancy, his Frito-smelling toe-beans, the quietly derpy look on his face, and his endless neediness. He's older and slightly mellower, but still gets very excited every time I select my pants for the day. He knows on sight which pants are Adventure Pants,... Continue Reading →
Solving Family Mysteries
Keeping apart from others has really brought people together.
Boxes of Dust
It no longer matters what my life would have been like with my parents' involvement. My "mistakes", in their eyes, comprised my life choices, and I'm where and who I am now because of those choices.
Right now, there are slips of memories flitting through my head, shapes and shadows of people I've known. There must be some key to keeping those people fresh in your life, in your mind, but I have never known it.
My Magic 8 Buddha
Yesterday was Madeleine L'Engle's birthday. Her work was formative for me as a young girl, first as a reader (her most famous main character's name is Meg, after all), and then as a writer. My first short story when I was young was about time travel. Her characters and storylines gave me hope. She wrote... Continue Reading →
Tired of Politics?
power differentials play out in the everyday tensions of our world, and they inform what I think and write about, because they're inescapable.
Trump is a symptom of this infection rampaging through our national biology, a boil on the ass of our humanity. He needs to be cauterized.
Circle of Hope
I became comfortable with deleting "friends" who showed themselves unwilling to self examine, to evaluate their beliefs in the face of contradictory evidence. As my wise friend Deb says, "bless and release."
This Shit is Not Okay
Pointing out abuse isn't the problem. The ABUSE is the problem.
Voter Protection Hotlines
Keep this information handy.
We have the gift of foresight borne from hindsight, so we'd be wise to use it.
Never Be The Same
There is so much that this disproportionately stressful year that has changed, and I'm not sure it will ever go back to the way it was.
It's not just YOU risking illness. It's not JUST your neighbors. You're putting all the healthcare workers in your area at risk.
Rigged to Benefit Mediocrity
People like Kushner and Barrett have gotten where they are because the system that's in place rewards their specific mediocrity; white, inherited wealth, actively participating in the oppression of non-white, non-male people trying to rise through the system that was solely designed to crush them
Safe as Churches
But the discouraging reality of Church and church has spread its roots throughout my foundational understanding of the world. The last four years has been my undoing, an unraveling of my belief in people of faith altogether.
A Life Without Want
There's this equation in my head that shows gratitude and want cancelling each other out; all I have to do to live a life without want is to be grateful for what I have. But how do I ask for what I need?
A Little Hope
The battle against voting rights is another facet of conservatism that I have never understood.
Call to Account
Do you know any employer who hires somebody and lets them do and say whatever they want on company time? This guy is on company time every second of the day. That's his whole job.
Becoming an OI Dad
Another repost from the old OI blog, this one about my husband, from six years ago. My daughter's father is my ex-husband. When I left him 12 years ago, she was five years old, and very emotionally attached to her father. She was too young to understand what was going on, too young to see the... Continue Reading →
I've waited in many surgical waiting rooms, nervously sorting the contents of my purse or reorganizing a file box I brought just to release some of the tension that builds when getting my child ready for surgery. My projects never lasted as long as the surgeries, due to my excessive, jangled speed and the way surgeries... Continue Reading →
The child in this story turns 28 today. She's finished college and is working as a political activist (which is a real job with benefits and everything!) I continue to be overjoyed with her. --Ed. As many times as I've told the story of my daughter's birth, it appears I've never written it down. Tonight,... Continue Reading →
Dear Class of '86, There's a reunion coming up. I don't have any idea of how long it's been--if I'd learned any math, I might know--but I also just don't care enough to get out the slide rule. I bring it up because its approach has inspired some vigorous conversation, which has, in turn, caused... Continue Reading →
Since my father died, I've been surprised at the freedom of thought and speech that I feel. We weren't in contact except for the occasional letter back and forth, but I was keenly aware of his presence in the distance, a governing force on my thoughts. Don't go there, the little internal voice would say,... Continue Reading →
There She Goes
She's going back to her independence, back to a life she builds herself, back to the process of opening up the world and seeing what it holds for her.
I'm no good at telling long jokes, partly because I forget some detail that makes it funny, but mostly because I am overcome with laughter before the punchline. I prefer short jokes (my favorite: a baby seal walks into a club. It's awful. Makes me laugh every time.) But there's one long joke I can... Continue Reading →
For my Children
Hey kids. Dad's sleeping. He needs the rest, and he's not feeling good. So if you're going to call him, do it tonight, okay? While he's sleeping, let me tell you some things about him you probably don't know. Or maybe you do, I don't know. But today's definitely the day for it. A long... Continue Reading →
They All Laughed
Tim and I have an anniversary coming up. It's not one of the big milestones, but as we were calculating the years we've been married and the years we've been together as a couple, we realized we've been together almost 20 years. Okay, so we're four years short of 20 years. But I was hit... Continue Reading →