Writing has long been my method of understanding the world. With this blog, I gained an opportunity to share what I learned with other people, with whatever 12 people decided to read any given post.
True to my Libra nature, I threaded my writing with a healthy amount of argument, which was also the rhetorical soup in which I was raised. Discussion about hot topics was dinner table fare, and I took to it like a duck to water. Then I brought it here, to a public space. I had some distant hope that the positions I expressed here would reach specific people I knew disagreed with me, people who actively disputed the facts of my little world. With time it became clear that they weren’t reading at all.
I wanted people to understand me, to believe me. To believe that my life was what I said it was. That I am who I say I am.
What I’ve learned in the meantime is that it doesn’t matter who believes me. It doesn’t matter who agrees with me.
None of that matters.
After all the sifting and sorting of facts and opinions, wrestling with “could haves” and “should haves,” thinking about what might have been if only _______________, I’ve chosen a conclusion.
I believe me.
That’s all I need.
a rose from last summer
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